could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."
could eat the arse out of a rag doll through a cane chair."
hungry I could eat the arse out of a low flying duck."
dry as a dead dingo's donger."
drier than a nun’s nasty."
dry as a fuck with no foreplay."
as dry as a pommie's bath mat."
as dry as a bull’s bum going up a hill backwards."
drier than an Arab's fart."
I NEED TO GO FOR A PEE
drain me dragon."
back teeth are floating."
to syphon the python."
the kids to the pool."
got to take a snake’s hiss."
go have a slash."
go water a horse."
off to drain the main vein."
to splatter the bladder."
dying for a piss so bad I can taste it."
hands with the wife's best friend."
I NEED TO DO A POO
gotta go give birth to a Kiwi."
takin' a stroll to the gravy bowl."
was like giving birth to Kim Beasly."
to the bog to leave an offering."
to snap off a grogan."
to hang a brown bear in the porcelain cave."
gonna strangle a brownie."
a brown dog barking at the back door."
going to give birth to your twin."
to choke a brown dog."
freed Nelson Mandela."
for a Rodney."
out the garbage."
gotta back one out."
the Chocolate hostage."
gotta lay some cables for Telstra."
was driving the porcelain bus this morning."
left him a lawn pizza."
a tiger on the carpet."
a fat dog fart?"
Blind Freddy could see it."
the Pope a Catholic?"
a Koala shit in a gum tree and wipe his ass on a Cockatoo?"
the Pope tuck his shirt in with a wooden spoon?"
hope your ears turn into arseholes and shit on your shoulders."
enough brains to give 'imself a headache!"
as useful as tits on a bull."
must be the world's only living brain donor."
a few wanks short of an orgasm."
had more pricks than a second hand dartboard."
had a head on him like a sucked mango."
your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny down."
got a few roos loose in the top paddock."
stupid that he wouldn't know a tram was up him 'til the bell
organise a piss-up in a brewery."
your lip over your head and swallow!"
ugly as a bucket full of arseholes."
I had a dog that looked like him, I'd shave it's arse and make it
a face like a bashed in shit can."
tell his ass from a hole in the ground."
drive a greasy stick up a dog's arse."
organise a fuck in a brothel with a fist full of fifties."
as useful as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking competition."
kick your bum till your nose bleeds!"
stubbie short of a six pack."
better heads in a piss trough."
as handy as shit on a stick."
than a fish's arse."
tight that he wouldn't shout if a shark bit him."
like a smashed crab."
ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp."
could talk a dog off a meatwagon."
in the head."
got a head like a half-eaten pastie."
wouldn't go two rounds with a revolving door."
she’s as rough as a pig’s breakfast."
face is like a twisted Ugg boot."
got a face like a cat licking shit off a thistle."
been hit with the fugley stick too many times."
two pick handles wide."
arse like two pigs fighting in a sugar bag."
ugly as a bag of spanners."
got a head like a dropped pie."
thinks his shit don' stink, but his farts give him away."
wish his dad had settled for a blow job."
out of the ugly tree, and hit every branch on the way down."
I had a head like yours I'd circumcise it."
know if someone was up him sideways with an armful of
thick as two short planks!"
got a head like a busted watermelon."
bloods worth bottling!"
be up her like a rat up a drain pipe."
better man never stood in two shoes!"
for Vegemite." (Anal sex)
have a super." (I'll have a beer)
mine an unleaded." (I'll have a light beer)
off like a frog in a sock." (try to picture this one)